Cara Brookins and her four kids were trapped, they lived in a household with domestic abuse. Everyone felt like a prisoner. For a short time, Brookins was married to a man who “descended into full-blown paranoid schizophrenia.” Even after their divorce, he continued to bother and frighten the family. She, and the kids, felt broken. Brookins knew things had to change so she made a bold decision. She wandered down an unknown path, hoping it would allow for everyone to take control over their lives again.
Single Mom Builds House With Kids After Watching YouTube
Trapped
The single mom of four — Hope, Drew, Jada and Roman, aged 17 to 2 at the time — felt trapped in their sadness. Felt trapped in unhappiness. “During that period, I remarried to a man who I thought was strong enough to handle it,” Cara told CBS News. “But I was wrong and he turned out to be a very violent man.”
Trapped
Fix It
After a painful realization, she knew change was in order. “It’s hard to put a finger on a moment,” she revealed. “I think it’s a progressive thing. I’m this extreme optimist. So, I just always thought that, no matter how bad it was, maybe I could make it better. Maybe I can fix this. But eventually, I realized there’s no way that I can ever make this situation better. It was the realization that maybe if the kids and I are out of here, then we have a shot.”
Fix It
On My Own
Cara Brookins was also faced with a terrible dilemma after the divorce – where would they all live? She needed a safe, new place for her and her four kids. She sold the home she shared with ex-husband in Bryant, Arkansas. However, the then-computer programmer analyst didn’t have money to hire builders or to even buy a home.
On My Own
A Needed Change
“We lost ability to laugh together,” she told TODAY Home. “We had spent so long being beaten down.” She knew she had to do something, whatever it was, to put the family back together. “But I had no idea what that should be,” she says.
A Needed Change
Myself
After moving from their old home, the family settled in a tiny house outside of Little Rock, Arkansas. Not long after and Brookins had an epiphany. She decided to do something bold and ventured into uncharted territory. She decided to build the house herself. But just how did she come upon that decision?
Myself
A Dream
“I had rented this cabin for a Thanksgiving getaway,” she told to CBS News. “And driving there, we passed this house that had been ravaged by a tornado. It was this beautiful dream house and it was sort of wide open. You don’t often get the opportunity to see the interior workings of a house, but looking at these 2x4s and these nails, it just looked so simple. I thought, ‘I could put this wall back up if I really tried. Maybe I should just start from scratch.’”
A Dream
From Scratch
From scratch, Cara Brookins made an impressive decision. Building your own home is no easy feat, especially when you know nothing about building a home! “It felt like, ‘If anyone was in our situation, this is what they would do,’ ” Brookins said. “It didn’t look like this to anyone else and in retrospect I know it sounds insane.”
From Scratch
We Did It
The Brookins really did go on to build their own house. “Yes, my kids and I actually built it with our own hands. Not because we knew how, or because a single other person thought it was a sane idea. We built a house because we needed a radical move to shift our trajectory toward a better life.”
We Did It
Kids Join In
As soon as she uttered the words aloud, she and the kids began fantasizing about building their own home. “The kids joined in and started drawing floor plans on little notepads,” said Cara.
Kids Join In
Blueprint
“My oldest son, Drew, helped me draw the blueprint to get approved by the city,” Brookins explained. The Brookins family was eager to get the plans approved so they could begin to build their new home. A new beginning was on the horizon.
Blueprint
Why?
So just why did they build a house? “My four kids and I had survived terrible domestic violence, and we needed a project to bring our family together.” Cara adds, “So when I had the idea to build a house, we were all in. Of course it was more difficult than we ever imagined. And rebuilding our broken family was an enormous challenge. One brick at a time, we built a house and a family.”
Why?
It’s Time
Without too much of a thought, she took out a construction loan and was able to buy all of the construction supplies and also an acre of land. Now all that was left was get their hands dirty! It was time to actually build the house.
Its Time
The Loan
On her website, she talks about the loan process. “Getting a loan to buy building supplies is a challenge if you’re not a contractor, and even harder when you tell the loan officer — I can totally do this by watching youTube tutorials. I had only nine months to build or I would default on said loan.” It was a huge step for Cara but it was a leap worth taking.
The Loan
Earrings Too
“Since I was programming full time & the kids were in school, this meant 9 months with little sleep. Apparently I still found time to put on earrings (Every. Single. Day.) before hitting the job site. A dangly pair I made myself. Aside from fancy jewelry, the kids and I kept our spirits up by singing along to crazy music mixes Drew made for us. And we reminded each other how amazing it was going to be to live in this amazing (mostly level) house we were building with our own hands.” The Brookins were ready, come hell or high water.
Earrings Too
Only Forward
“Once I had bought all these supplies and they were all piled up, there was no way out,” Brookins said. “There wasn’t enough money to pay anyone to put them together. There was no plan B.”
Only Forward
YouTube
The whole family were now presented with an overwhelming task – they needed to construct a house with their own hands. A feat they had never encountered before. That’s when the Brookins family turned to an unlikely source…YouTube.
YouTube
Video Watching
“This was 2008, so YouTube was not then what it is now. There weren’t really comprehensive videos or channels devoted to this sort of thing,” she says. “But there’s a lot of ways to frame a window or to put a foundation together. So, we would watch three or four videos for each stage of construction and then think, ‘Which one of these is going to work the best for us?’”
Video Watching
We Need This
“I didn’t know yet how to frame a window or a door, how to snake pipes and wires through a wall or how to draw up blueprints and obtain permits. But I knew my kids, and I knew we needed this,” wrote Cara in her book. Building their own home was an answer to some of their deepest scars. There was no looking back now.
We Need This
Joint Effort
Everything that they did to the house was a joint effort. Everyone pitched in. Hope did the marking whlile Drew ran the nail gun. Someone was always there to watch her youngest, Roman, as the 2 year old toddler joyfully stomped in and out on the job site.
Joint Effort
Two Year Old
“Every construction site should recruit a 2yr old. Saw dust pies, frog collections, and puddle stomping keep things in happy perspective,” said Cara via her website. Doing the project as a family helped keep a lot of things in perspective.
Two Year Old
All In
“They were all in,” Brookins told CBS News. “My biggest fear was that my teenagers would wake up and say, ‘No, I’m not doing this.’ And it never happened. It was the first time they had felt any sort of power, any sort of control over their lives. And they knew how much they needed it.”
All In
Committed
When it came to the work, the family was in for a wild ride. One left its fair share of bruises! “It hurt,” she said to CBS News. “It was not something that was a great match to us physically, but my kids got up every day and they came out here. I was working all day and they were in school, and we would work into the night sometimes by headlights. It was incredibly intense. There was nobody going to the movies. There were no dates, no hanging out. It was all hands on deck.”
Committed
Daddy’s Help
Even Cara’s dad pitched in. “Slogging ankle deep in concrete is one of my dad’s favorite pastimes, so he drove down from Wisconsin to help pour the shop floor.” This was a true Brookins family project! Everyone was pulling their weight in an effort to build their forever home.
Daddys Help
Mom’s Help
Yes, even her mom helped out! “My mom was the hardest working (& dearest) woman I’ve ever known. Despite extreme heat, she showed up to punch nails, paint, and help build my concrete countertops. And Since we picked out paint colors & curtains before we knew how to lay a foundation block, we were THRILLED to finally reach the stain, paint, and curtain stage! Some of us (Ahem – Hope) seriously dove into the work.”
Moms Help
Nine Months
Over the next nine months, a computer analyst and her four kids built their dream home. And they really did everything – hand-mixing the mortar for the foundation, running gas lines and framing walls. They definitely faced some challenges but in the end, they persevered.
Nine Months
The Foundation
Physically and mentally, the Brookins family found the foundation to be especially challenging. “We were so weak then. We were carrying around these blocks and slugging through mud. We didn’t have proper work boots so we put plastic bags on our feet with old tennis shoes. We were completely unprepared.”
The Foundation
Hard Work
“The foundation was tough. But nothing builds family ties like laughing through delirious exhaustion.” As least they were able to find the humor in their struggle. For the Brookins family, after everything they had been through, they welcomed the hard work.
Hard Work
Home Depot
Speaking of the foundation, Cara said the following to KTHV, “With just a little bit at a time, we figured out how to lay a foundation block. There was a lot of asking people at Home Depot for help, too.”
Home Depot
Aches
Via her website, Cara writes, “While our toes nearly froze off as we mixed concrete in a wheelbarrow, our back muscles ached from hauling two-by-fours, and we sweated and itched our way through fiberglass insulation — we also rebuilt our broken family.”
Aches
Concrete Mixer
On her website, she explains more about using a concrete mixer and the foundation. “Yes, I know it looks like we have one here, but it was borrowed and literally threw a chipped gear at my feet after 2hrs. So for the entire foundation we had to hike down the hill to the neighbors pond (in Dec & Jan) for pails of water and then mix the mortar by hand in a wheelbarrow.”
Concrete Mixer
Not As Fun
Cara continued to say the following, “And I know with this extreme level of DIY you’re wondering if we formed and baked the bricks, too. No. No we did not and I did not plan for so much muddy hands-on work. (Surprise!) We did, however, fill the 7ft tall foundation with 26 dump truck loads of powdered granite. BY HAND. Also, this was not as much fun as it sounds.”
Not As Fun
Confidence Grows
As the family worked together more and more, they began to change. “We gained muscle. We gained confidence. We learned how to laugh. We learned how to communicate.” Cara Brookins added that once the foundation was done, the family communicated almost telepathically. Now that’s impressive! “Someone could hold their hands up and basically grunt and get the tool they wanted,” she said.
Confidence Grows
Good Ones
In her book, she writes of her son’s ability to always play the write song as they build their home. “He [Drew] had zoned out on me after the first few items on the to-do list, but I had needed dozens of work images to fill my head so there was no room for anything else. Seconds later, he flipped over a milk crate for the old radio and put on Bob Marley’s “Redemption Song.” Jack Johnson followed with some banana pancakes, and that yielded to techno, which demanded robotic dubstep moves from Drew. Bit by bit, we were filling our souls with good things. Replacing the bad memories with good ones.”
Good Ones
Helping Hand
Naturally the family didn’t do everything on their own. A licensed professional took care of the electrical and HVAC work. Even a firefighter helped with some of the work for just $25 an hour.
Helping Hand
Whoops
Not everything went to plan though but the Brookins soldiered on. In her book, Cara writes, “I smacked the top of the ram gun with a framing hammer and felt the numbing jolt in my fingers. A chunk of concrete flew off the side of the slab.” Drew added that that wasn’t supposed to happen and she replied, “‘Too close to the edge. Angled it wrong,’ I said, slipping in another nail.” This time, success!
Whoops
Moving On
After Cara’s second-time success with nailing that particular wall, her son Drew offered a funny moment. “Meet the construction gurus of Inkwell Manor,” Drew said. “Fear our superior skills!” At least no one was bothered by the setbacks as they always found solutions and carried on, better than ever.
Moving On
Inspection
Even though the Brookins family lacked training and experience, the house they built passed every single city building code inspection. Although Cara did admit that the inspectors were surprised when they learned who did all the building work. “I think they thought I was crazy,” said Brookin. “There wasn’t a single person that thought this was a good idea aside from my kids. But to me, at the time, it felt like the only answer.”
Inspection
End Result
When all was said and done, “Inkwell Manor”, sat on 3,500-square-feet. The Brookins new home has five bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms and also a three-car garage. “We overbuilt a lot, making sure everything was done in the most sturdy way. I was also very aware of being energy efficient,” she said. “My goal was to have a house that was very inexpensive to live in.”
End Result
How Much?
Oh, their home also has a two-story tree house in the backyard! When they finished building everything, the entire project cost $130,000. That is so much cheaper than most houses on the market. And those home aren’t even all that nice, the Inkwell Manor is a total beaut. One more thing, when the house last was appraised, it was actually valued at half a million dollars.
How Much?
My Favorite
Cara Brookins has a favorite room as well, the library! The library impressively has floor-to-ceiling books. The cozy decor is French country, and there are a ton of family-centered pieces, like items that were passed down from her parents and grandparents.
My Favorite
Our Kitchen
Or as Cara writes on her website, “Kitchen: Where we gather to trip over our cat.” Well at least they know which room is the cat’s favorite?
Our Kitchen
Probably Not
We’re sure that the cat wouldn’t have liked the kitchen like this. Or maybe it would have! “One board at a time, we built a house and in the end, we discovered a home.”
Probably Not
A Difference
When talking with The DailyMail, Cara said, “There is a real difference living in a place where you have touched every two-by-four. It’s never far from your mind.” Cara also added, “We know where every single pipe is… it’s a very vert neat feeling.” Not many home owners could say the same.
A Difference
My Book
Cara Brookins proudly says that building their own house brought her family together again. She even wrote an entire book about the whole process, “Rise, How A House Built A Family.”
My Book
Inspiration
Brookins hopes that the book will inspire others to never think small. “I never intended to write a book. I was ashamed. But I think it is important to shift your perspective on any negative situation and do something big,” she said. “Never think of your situation as a solo journey. You can heal and grow together with your family.”
Inspiration
Hope
Cara Brookins also wanted to send a message to other women who feel powerless by domestic violence. “Forget everything you’ve been told about taking baby steps. Everybody says, ‘If you just take a small step every day, it will get better.’ In my experience, though, it doesn’t. You have to make a big leap. It has to be this huge, enormous act. For us, it was building a house. For somebody else, it could be something totally different. But you need to do something big that changes your perception of yourself.”
Hope
Worth It
Despite how hard it was, Cara Brookins said the whole experience was worth it. “I kept hearing advice, like ‘just get out of bed, just make pot of coffee.’ If my goal is only to get out of bed, I’d never accomplish anything,” she said. “Set goals impossibly big — look at the big picture.”
Worth It
Mom and Dad
Cara says it was her upbringing that encouraged her to build. “It was my mom & dad’s fault. Because I was pretty much born saying — What can I make? And they could have replied — Small things, little Cara. Make very small things. But alas, they didn’t. Instead, they said — You can make anything you set your (stubborn-as -a-mule) mind to. So I made caterpillar sleeping bags, snow forts, and cardboard box kingdoms. I wrote entire worlds into books. And when my kids and I were in a tough spot and needed a place to live, you already know what I said — What can I make?”
Mom And Dad
Keep Going
Building a family house helped to enable Brookins to rise up from her despair. “We were ashamed that this was our best option, to build our own shelter,” she said. “It was not something we were proud of. It ended up being the best thing I could have ever done for myself.
Keep Going
Anything
Cara Brookins wasn’t the only one who was beyond impressed with what the family achieved and what they learned along the way. Her oldest daughter, Hope, said, “I’ve learned I can do anything.”
Anything
Not Forever
There is not doubt that the memories of building a house together will stay with the Brookins family forever, Cara admitted that they might not always stay there. “There’s a sense of ‘its only a house. What’s important, is that we are who we are today because of it.” She added, “My children are who they are because of it, and their belief that they can do anything.”
Not Forever
You Can Do It
“If I, a 110-pound computer programmer can build a whole house, you can do anything you can set your mind to,” Cara Brookins said. “Set one goal and don’t waiver from it. Find that big thing you want to do, take baby steps, and take the people with who need to heal with you, go on that journey together. There is so much power in that.”
You Can Do It